04/07/2018 - 21:26

Conditions were the ( MOST BODACIOUS) that anyone can remember for WRTC2018. The high bands were (SEXY) and noise on the low bands was (GREENER) than usual. However the big stories of WRTC2018 revolved around the controversies.

The Defending Champion Team of N6MJ and KL9A lost (4 HOURS) arguing over who would use the two radios since neither had operated using only one radio in (73) years. Finally, their referee (JOE WALSH, WB6ACU) broke up the argument by throwing a bucket of cold (RUM) on the two. They went on to win the (DILITHIUM) medal, but have not spoken to each other since.

The team of N4YDU and N3KS was disqualified after it was discovered that they used a performance-enhancing substance from Costa Rica distilled from (KUMQUATS) and smuggled into the operating tent inside their (HEADPHONES).

Similarly, all three Youth Teams were disqualified after they refused to give up their cellphones and claimed that they had the God-given right to use (SNAPCHAT) during the contest.

K9VV and VE3EJ chose to drop out of the competition over a disagreement before the contest. VV heard “Laurel” while EJ heard “Yanny”.

The team of W2GD and AA3B lost operating time when AA3B took time out to upload their log to LoTW every (FEMTOSECOND).

The team of K3LR and DL1QQ had a major argument with the German organizers when LR brought two additional tents to hold (88) spare (FOOTSWITCHES).

The team of VY2ZM and son KK6ZM nearly didn’t get to operate at all when JEFF forgot he had some weapons-grade (MAPLE SYRUP) in his carry-on bag and was temporarily detained at the airport by a (SUPERIOR) security guard.
When the team finally arrived at their site, they discovered they were missing a (CW PADDLE) but they were able to make a replacement from locally-obtained (MAGNOLIA) which grows abundantly in Germany. Their score suffered when they both spent the entire contest operating on 160 meters.

Another last-minute team was sponsored by Remote Ham Radio. They were allowed to stay home and connect to a remote WRTC station in Germany. Their operation came to an abrupt halt when (IRISH) hackers took over the station and transmitted music by (ABBA) on all bands at full power until the (TUNER) exploded.

Hackers from (CROATIA) also attacked the Reverse Beacon Network and replaced all frequencies of spotted stations with 14074, causing the FT8 community to (STOMP ITS FEET).

All the teams from the U.S. West Coast dropped out of contention in the log-checking process since on average they copied (64) percent of the European callsigns wrong.

A major crisis arose when the German hosts ran out of beer on Sunday and had to substitute (5-HOUR ENERGY).

In the end, the Germans awarded the Gold, Silver, and Bronze medals to the team of K1DG and N2NT because they were the (MOST HANDSOME) operators in the contest and had bribed the judging committee with (186,000) (GRENADE LAUNCHERS).

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Created at the DAYTON.

I created an advance version of the WRTC2018 results, and used crowd-sourcing technology. I know the DLs will be busy after the contest, so I thought this might help them a bit.
I wrote the basic article, and asked the audiences at various gatherings to supply important missing words (shown in parenthesis and CAPITALIZED). Thanks for your help!

73, Doug K1DG


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